Back to the Prairie – January 2015

Greetings from the “Little House on the Prairie.” I would take a minute to ponder which of us is Ma and which is Pa but I am afraid just thinking about all that would take me to a frightening place and really, what good could come of it?
It has been awhile since we departed the lovely home and fabulous hospitality of Bonnie, Jacki and Louie, who is truly and without argument, the most spoiled dog in the universe. I know that is hard to believe when Ali, Merlin and Kevin are in the mix but I believe it is true. We had a great time in Santa Fe.
I do just want to take a moment and thank Jacki and Bonnie (especially Bonnie) for taking us (especially Kim) to a place called “Back at the Ranch.” Back at the Ranch is a “custom boot” store so you KNOW my thanks is less than sincere. Actually I would call it more of a custom boot “salon” than a store. I knew it was trouble from the moment we walked in. Two of the four extremely attractive and well dressed sales persons greeted us immediately upon our entrance and within a minute asked if they could get us any water or tea! Now you KNOW when they ask to bring you refreshments to make your shopping experience more enjoyable, you are talking big bucks. I shot Bonnie my best “let’s get the hell out of here look” but all she did was smile and browse. There were beautiful and unique boots of every shape, size and color on every wall, floor to ceiling, beckoning us further in. The older predator, I mean, sales associate asked who the shopper was in the group and Bonnie and I replied in unison, “Kim.” Then they began to seduce Kim with their evil ways. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like some water?” “Where are you from?” “Boulder, oh I love Boulder.” This was not good. While they were hovering around Kim, I managed to quickly and surreptitiously look at the bottom of a pair of boots. OK, it wasn’t that quickly because when I saw the price, my head starting spinning and my eyes were having a hard time focusing on the numbers. “Well, shame on you, Nancy for being so judgmental, $320 isn’t bad at all.” “Hell, she was looking at a $500 pair yesterday.” “Wait a minute, something is not right.” Let me look again…. please remember that I was trying to be polite and very sneaky. Ah, there it was…..that other little zero that my brain had ignored in an effort to make the information something I could actually comprehend. Ah, there it is…..if you wait long enough, my brain will catch up….now I understand, I was actually holding in my hand, me, personally, a pair of $3,200 boots. I looked up to see Bonnie laughing at the look on my face…..I have to say, I have never really seen this vicious side of her before. I turned around just in time to hear the saleswoman say to Kim, “Would you like to try those on?” Kim said yes before I could do or say anything. This was so bad. I was lightheaded so I sat down and reminded myself that Kim was a big girl who typically makes really good decisions and besides this didn’t have anything to do with me. I have to say, they were some cool ass boots and of course, they fit perfectly. And they were only, $1,000!!! A bargain compared to everything else in the place! After 20 minutes of charming chit-chat and first-class sales womanship (damn these women were good), I was ready to buy them for Kim myself. However, Kim was not seduced by the truly gorgeous and unique boots that fit like no others or the truly impressive sales efforts of her new best friends. We thanked them for their time and wished them a lovely day. I have to say I was amazed we left with NO boots. I will say that I saw the young sales woman slip Kim her card on the way out as she told her that shipping was free…..sort of like someone slipping her their number in a bar ….”Call Me.” So obviously, the story may or may not be over. I was very proud of Kim for not buying the boots but I was most proud of me for not buying a pair for myself and then using those crazy, expensive, fabulous boots to kick Bonnie’s backside all the way home.
We arrived at the house on Saturday and were thrilled to find it in great shape. Pat had done an amazing job cleaning, organizing and even was thoughtful enough to hire a window cleaner so we could enjoy crystal clear views of the prairie and mummy as soon as we got here. As the street name says, when you look to the mountains from the house, they look like a mummy lying down. I am the only person I know who spent more than a month here before realizing where our street got its name. Most people seem to see it within the first 5 minutes. I think since I was the last to see it, I should name it. I will have to ponder an appropriate moniker.
We loved exploring the house and all the things we had left here. It was kind of like Christmas discovering some of the sweatshirts, shirts and shoes we had left. Speaking of footwear, I was especially excited to rediscover my slippers. I have a pair of trailer slippers and some amazing hand made slippers given to me by Claudia Burris. But these are my high-end, prairie foot warmers I bought at our friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart about two years ago for $8.99.
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As you can see, they are beyond stylish but I don’t care because they are functional! Kim hates them beyond words. She mentioned at least three times that they were ugly. I believe she thought I would get rid of them after the last comment but when I didn’t, she finally said “I will buy you a real pair of Uggs if you will just get rid of those hideous slippers.” Bingo, sometimes I am not nearly as dumb as I look.
We spent a few days getting things put away. There is truly no extra space so we had to clean out things we no longer needed. Within a few days, we were settled and enjoying the quiet prairie. Pat put an antenna up so we get about 6 channels…..my favorite is ME TV…..it has all the old TV shows….Andy Griffith, Gun Smoke, Bonanza and even MASH but my favorites are the original Superman, Batman, The Rifleman, Night Gallery, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and Mission Impossible. They are so much fun to watch. I think Perry Mason is on as well but I haven’t figured out when yet. Classics!!! They really take me back and make me smile. We have been reading quite a bit and watching some movies on the DVD player (courtesy of Patricia…..yes, she totally rocks). We highly recommend “PRIDE” about the miner’s strike in England in the 1980s and a group of Gay and Lesbians who try to help them. It was a wonderful movie and very touching and heartwarming. Kim and Nancy give it 4 Airstreams! After Pride, I selected three clunkers in a row and had to put myself on movie probation.
I also really like the radio stations here because they play old (oops, make that retro) country and western music as well as retro rock and roll. The other day on the way to work out I heard some classics like Barbara Mandrel (You Can Eat Crackers in My Bed Anytime), The Partridge Family (I Think I Love You) and Edison Lighthouse’s One Hit Wonder (Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes)!!! OK, in the spirit of honesty, that last one was on my own playlist. I am sure that surprises no one.
Kim is still fighting a nasty sinus infection. I think we are on Day 8 but the good news is she is a reading fool. I think she has read somewhere between 6-8 books in the last 8 days. Oh and as long as we are recommending movies, we both recommend a book called “The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry.” Again, 4 Airstreams!
The pronghorn finally showed up yesterday right outside our door. Something spooked them and they took off running. They were so beautiful to watch. It was not wonderful when Tuffy decided to go run with them. I am sure it was quite a sight…the pronghorn and Tuffy gracefully flowing across the prairie with a 58 year old, gimpy lesbian dressed in sweats and crocs flailing along far behind.
Well, I must sign off for now. Gotta to head out front and enjoy the sunset.
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Last Day in the Everglades

For our final visit to the Everglades, we decided to visit the Shark Valley Visitor’s Center.
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We were a bit surprised at all the traffic prior to turning into the park access road:
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but then we remembered it was President’s Day and access to the park was free for the day. We also had forgotten that Shark Valley had a hiking and biking trail so many, many people had parked along the highway and then ridden their bikes into the park:
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Despite the signs and all the cars, we pulled into the park area only to be 15 cars back with no movement for 15 minutes. I finally pulled the truck out and around and we found a place on the road to park and walked into the park.
Shark Valley has a tram that runs along the 15 mile paved hiking/biking path. We decided against the tram and opted to eat lunch while we waited for our turn to rent some bikes for the trek out to the observation tower and back.

Single speeds!

Single speeds!


The first thing we came upon on our bike trip was my good friend, the Purple Gallinule. Just love this bird. First of all, it is amazingly beautiful and secondly, I love to watch it “walk” across the water. It is sort of beautiful and goofy at the same time.
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Then we scored some more little ones when we encountered a nest full of anhinga babies. It was right by the single lane bike and tram path.
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A shout out to the Metzner clan, who were forever rescuing box turtles on their travels:
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And an Ansel Adams moment for me, an Everglades lily pad:
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Kim and I biked the seven miles along the path, stopping and stepping aside, as instructed each time the tram came by. I have to tell you, that turned out to be more treacherous than initially anticipated when we realized that there were alligators all along the path and barely enough room between the tram, the path and the side of the water where the alligators were sleeping in the sun, to get off our bikes, much less put our feet on the ground.
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We covered the 7 miles pedaling with the wind and arrived at the observation tower fairly quickly.
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Kim and Nancy selfie

Kim and Nancy selfie


As we began our trek back to the visitor’s center against the wind, we saw a fairly rare Jurdeman’s Heron:
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This particular Wurdemann’s Heron ran the risk of becoming even more rare considering it was perched fairly close to and completely ignoring a reasonably large alligator:
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I would like to take a moment and talk about the alligators we saw on our ride. We forgot to count them at the outset but heard a 12 year old girl tell her mother that she had counted 74 gators from the Visitor’s Center to the Observation Tower. Based upon her information, we believe we saw a over 100 during our 15 mile bike ride.
This is a group who were by the walking path at the observation tower:
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As we walked by them, I watched an 8 year old boy walk up and pull an alligator’s tail! No parent in sight and when they finally arrived on the scene, they seemed quite impressed at their son’s accomplishment. Within five minutes, Kim saw an adult (and I use the term loosely) do the same thing.
Disclaimer 1: Before I just completely go off (and I am going to), I would like to state that for the most part, I am a very tolerant person. I don’t like to judge people and I don’t like them to judge me. I often see people doing things I don’t agree with and before I rush to judgement, I at least TRY, to consider what they must have been thinking or what might have caused them to do something that didn’t seem right to me. As a friend of mine says, I find that whenever I judge people, it usually comes back to bite me in the *&@$*#.
So all that being said, I just have to say, “REALLY?”
I was beyond upset and angry at what I saw. Where do I begin? My first thought was to snatch that child up by the shirt and drag him out of the park. Then I settled down enough to realize, it was the parents who needed an alligator to bite them in the posterior.
Disclaimer 2: I am not, nor have I ever been a parent. I think people who have never had children can not possibly know what it is like to raise one and therefore, for the most part, should keep their child-rearing opinions to themselves.
That being said, even I, who have never raised a child, know you have to keep an eye on them and teach them to act right.
I have two very good friends who have raised two wonderful boys and I can assure you, they would have:

A. told the boys prior to entering the park to beware of the alligators and to not approach or touch them
B. taught them to treat others as well as animals and nature with respect and kindness
C. made sure to keep an eye on them to ensure they were safe

and finally, if the boys had failed to adhere to the A and B instructions listed above, they would have flipped a coin to see who was going to invite the alligator to bite each boy’s tush to teach them a lesson.
Seeing a child possibly get hurt or killed out of ignorance and/or parental indifference combined with the complete disregard and disrespect for these animals and this place just kind of really flipped me out.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer but I just had to get that out. OK, I am better now. Oh wait, one more thing:
“Please people, don’t be stupid.” OK, now I am better.
Now I would like to end on a happy note so here is one final picture of our alligator friends:
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Despite the occasional rude visitor to their home, they are maxing and relaxing in the sun.

Hanging out at Sea Level

Our second day in the Everglades featured dipping our toes and basically hiking in Florida Bay, seeing many more birds and gators and hanging out at sea level.
We grabbed breakfast, gassed up in the midst of a hundred, 60-something snowbirds on Harleys out for their Sunday morning drive and headed along the remote stretch of road leading to Flamingo. While this sign caused us a moment of pause:
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we did see enough signs of civilization to convince us we were headed in the right direction. We reached the Visitors Center at about 10 am.
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The center, as well as the adjacent hotel, sustained quite a bit of damage from Hurricane Katrina and were in the midst of being rebuilt. I was disappointed to find that not only were they not showing the requisite National Park movie, but they also did not have the visitor stamp for my National Park Passport book. You know, the stamp that proves to any and everyone that you were actually there when you said you were there. It is sort of the grown-up attendance sheet that you can show to the principal of the National Parks if called upon to verify your visit. I know it is costing millions of dollars to repair the structure and probably another half million or so to film “Son of the Splendor of the Everglades” but I really think $2 for a new Flamingo Visitor’s Center rubber stamp would not require Congress to appropriate additional funding. I am talking about the accuracy of one’s permanent record here.
I sulked from the Visitor’s Center over to the Marina and came upon something that perked me right up and was the real reason you go to the National Parks. Nature! We scored an Osprey nest complete with Mom, Dad and little ones right there in full view.
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We watched them for quite some time. We saw Mom feeding the babies, re-arranging the nest and flying around in search of food. The babies kept peaking over the edge of the nest and pestering Mom for food.
I don’t like to stereotype but I will tell you that the alleged father did not appear to be supporting the family much past what he had already contributed. He basically sat atop a nearby pole with his back to the family, cleaning himself, posing for the camera and looking fairly self-satisfied and proud of his handsomeness. Just sayin!
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I really could have watched them all day but a picnic lunch was calling our name. We always think of Peg and Bill when we are out in nature and it is time to search for the rare and elusive picnic table.
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After lunch, we toured the Flamingo Campground that we couldn’t get into and I will say that there appeared to be plenty of open sites. Of course, we did what we always do which is convince ourselves beyond a shadow of a doubt that we do indeed, have the best campsite EVER anyway and we really didn’t want to camp there in the first place.
Our post lunch hike was the Coastal Prairie Trail from the campground to the Bay. We hiked through some mangroves and out through the prairie:
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Finally, time and conditions conspired to force us turn back. We had so much mud on our sandals that we were sliding more than hiking.
OK, I know it doesn’t look like that much water but we couldn’t find any dry spots to walk and I decided that while it might not be enough water for an alligator, it was plenty for a water moccasin. I know, I am not a Marine Biologist but I really don’t like snakes so I chickened out and we headed back.
I am glad we did because we saw some amazing birds at Eco and Mrazek Ponds on the way out of the park. I finally got to see the Roseate Spoonbill up close and personal. Kim, Peggy, Tina and Lynn had all seen them up close and for long periods of time and I had only caught a fleeting glance of one flying so I was thrilled to see them in the Everglades.
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Tri-Colored Heron

Tri-Colored Heron


We watched a White Pelican just sit in the pond and gorge him or herself. It managed to stop stuffing itself long enough for me to get a picture but I guess when the food is plentiful, you must take advantage.
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We sat for quite awhile and just watched all the birds. Kim saw an Anhinga nab some dinner. She had read that they will swoop into the water, spear a fish with their beak, flip it up into the air and swallow it all in one fluid motion and sure enough, one performed that maneuver right in front of her. I missed it because I was having a moment with a Snowy Egret who was posing for me and the other tourists.
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We decided our last bird jackpot was a great place to end our day in the “Glades.” We past this sign on our way out of the park and I include it for all you Coloradans who live at over 5,000 feet above sea level.
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The Birds Will Eat Your Car!

In Austin, Texas – we wore jeans, long sleeve shirts, down coats, hats and gloves and still could not get warm.
In Effie, Louisiana – we were attired in all of the above and a rain coat to ward off the freezing rain and ice.
In Crestview, Florida – we were only able to remove the hat and gloves as conditions remained essentially unchanged except for the addition of fog.
In Tampa, Florida – we were able to shed the rain and down coats but sadly, were still stuck in jeans and sweatshirts.
In Homestead, Florida (outside the Everglades) – we, thankfully, joyously, blissfully and finally, were able to throw all the clothing referenced above disdainfully into a tub in the back of the truck and don shorts, t-shirts and sandals! I believe before we actually put them on, we laid them out reverently on the bed and one of us may have actually kissed the hem of her shorts before slipping them on.

We had hoped to camp in Everglades National Park but some of the loops were closed and they were booked so we found a place called Miami Everglades RV Resort. We weren’t sure what to expect especially when we turned into the drive and were greeted with:
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Luckily, it turned out to be a really cute place and despite getting one of the last spots, we got a nice site at the end of one of the loops with lots of space and some privacy:
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The resort is primarily inhabited by snowbirds from the US and Canada who stay the entire winter but they have it going on. They had events going 24X7. Yoga in the Tiki Pavillion in the mornings. Bring your beverage of choice and appetizer to share every night at 5:00pm for Happy Hour. Nights devoted to Euchre, Poker,Texas Hold ‘Em, Mah Jong, Knitting, Bingo and Ping Pong. I am kicking myself for not participating in some events but we were busy getting after the Everglades. As we were checking out on our last day, they were having a Shuffleboard Tournament. Prior to beginning the competition, they sang both the National Anthem and O Canada and did a surprisingly good job.
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If we all lived there, it would be hysterical. All you nuts would be participating in or coordinating some event. Richard, Ted and Rob would be organizing the daily bike ride. Renee and Claudia B. would have everyone knitting hats for the needy children. Kellye’s peeps would provide the Happy Hour music. Robin’s writing workshops would have a waiting list and Claudia Lenz would be the social secretary. Meanwhile, the rest of you younger folks would be in charge of cleaning and maintenance. Hey, my fantasy…..my rules.
But, as usual, I digress.

Off to the Everglades:

Tri-Colored Heron

Tri-Colored Heron

We spent our first day at the Royal Palms Visitor’s Center and hiked the Anhinga Trail. We pulled into the parking lot and promptly wrapped our truck in tarps:
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Peg and Bill had warned us that the vultures seem to enjoy landing on vehicles and chewing the rubber off them. Many cars were covered and others were not, so we debated just taking a chance that Florida vultures would not have acquired a taste for Colorado Truck rubber. I am glad we went through the hassle of covering the truck because we later heard a man on the phone with his insurance company saying the “damn birds” had scratched the car all up and chewed all the rubber surrounding the windshield!
We had a phenomenal day watching wildlife! So yet again, prepare for more and more nature pictures. If you would like to see a larger version of the pictures, I believe you can simply click on the photo.
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Green Heron

Green Heron

We saw Anhingas, who lack oil glands, which causes them to sit in the sun and stretch their wings out to dry each time before diving into the water to fish.

Female Anhinga

Female Anhinga

Male Anhinga

Male Anhinga

Cormorant

Cormorant

Woodstork

Woodstork

Without a doubt, my favorite bird of the day was the American Purple Gallinule.

American Purple Gallinule

American Purple Gallinule

Walking, running and flying atop the lily pads

Walking, running and flying atop the lily pads

Finally, I will leave you with one stereotypical Everglades photograph of an Alligator. I took at least 50 shots of them the first day but since you have been so kind, I will spare you. Especially since there are surely many more to come.

Alligator - Chillin in the Everglades

Alligator –
Chillin in the Everglades

Gotta run for now! More Everglades to Come!

The Motherlode of Birds and Other Things

Disclaimer: The next few blogs will feature abundant bird and wildlife pictures ad nauseum because we ARE bird nerds. I know Peg, Bill, Claudia and Kellye will enjoy them. So sad for the rest of you.
We left Big Lil in front of Jerry and Cliff’s house (thanks guys for giving up your driveway and garage for us) and headed to Anna Maria Island to see Aunt Peggy and Uncle Bill. Bill had messed up his back so he was not a happy camper. Bill is an avid fisherman and spent most of the first day figuring out how he could get someone to cast for him so he could save his back and still fish!
We always have the best time with Peg and Bill because we just love to walk and see whatever there is to see. They had a really nice place on the water.
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Unfortunately, beach restoration was in process so the view out their front window was a bit unusual (a massive pipe running along the beach).
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We left poor Bill lying prone on his bed and took off to the wildlife sanctuary. He did come join us for our picnic lunch! Kim said that I need to add that we had our picnic lunch at a picnic table because that is what you do with Peg and Bill. Enjoy your lunch at a picnic table.
We saw a gorgeous Great Blue Heron who stands right beside all the fisherman on the beach.
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Some non-birds to keep things interesting.
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Yet another Heron:
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We found some good restaurants in the area and one which was our favorite “Eat Here”. We actually ate and enjoyed BEETS of all things. Peggy took us to this really cute coffee shop, bakery, restaurant, gift shop with an AWESOME, florida Beach Bike parked outside.
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What a great time we had! We got to go to the Red Barn Flea Market which was quite an experience. We did more people watching than shopping and had a huge time. Got some Honeybell Oranges which were so sweet and the juice just ran down your arm and onto your shoes when you ate them. Delicious. We are still sending healing thoughts to both Bill and Peggy. Bill because his back still hurts like hell as they make their way back to Cleveland and Peggy for having to drive most of the way on her own. We love you both to the moon and back.
We spent two days with Tina and Lynn (not nearly enough time) and crammed in a ton of fun. We ate, shopped, hit two flea markets, played tons of pool and met some of their wonderful friends. Lynn let us win a bit at pool before deciding to administer a butt whooping on us. I would like to state for the record that her actions were extremely disrespectful. We are her elders after all. Lynn, that was not cool.
Tina and Lynn took us to Nauti Nancy’s on our last night. Not in the best part of town but we had the BEST time. We played some cornhole, drank beers and then enjoyed some of the best shrimp and grits EVER. Kim is determined to replicate the recipe! What a great time we have with Tina and Lynn. I want to say there are no pictures because they would be X rated but really it is because I was so busy laughing that I never thought to take any pictures.
We finally made our way back to Cliff and Jerry’s only to find that Cliff had discovered Kim’s dirty clothes, washed and folded them. We have been so spoiled on our trip with folks washing and folding our clothes! I have to say that I was very impressed with Beth’s and Cliff’s Laundry Service. We did get to see the Manatees that live in the warm water surrounding the power plant near Apollo Beach.
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The manatee are so wonderful to watch. They glide through the water, float up for air and then flip their tails as they submerge.
Sincere and heartfelt thanks to Peg, Bill, Tina, Lynn, Jerry and Cliff for everything. Love, hugs and hospitality!!! We love you nuts. Next stop: The Glades as in Ever!

Snowbirds on the Run

Greetings one and all,
I would say greetings from balmy Key Largo but I think many of you would hop the next flight down here to deliver a smack in the face to me in person. I saw a T-shirt today that had a weather map on it and every region’s weather said “Shitty” except the Florida Keys said “Not Shitty.”
I have been too long away from the blogosphere. My only excuse (even though I don’t need one) is that we have been stuck on go. First to escape the awful weather that seemed to follow us all the way to Tampa, then stopping all along the way to visit with all sorts of people as well as cramming in as many sights as was humanly possible.
Since my last entry was when we were in Effie, Louisiana, I have much to catch up on. We stopped near New Orleans and camped for quite a few days in Fontainebleau State Park.
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I managed to convince Kim to drive on the huge (23 miles long) bridge across Lake Pontchartrain to go visit New Orleans for a day. We managed to navigate into the city and park. We strolled through the French Quarter despite a smattering of rain.
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We really enjoyed being able to stroll with our sippy cups out on the streets. We ate some great seafood and walked through the French Market where everyone was talking about the impending ice storm and that they were staying home and cooking gumbo rather than coming to work the following day. We toyed with the idea of bugging out to beat the storm but since we had been high-tailing it southeast since we left Colorado to evade the nasty weather, we finally decided to just hunker down for a few days and let it pass.
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We watched a John Wayne movie (Rio Bravo) while Kim replenished her potholder inventory.
After two days ice, we decided the roads were safe enough to drive to Destin, Florida so we could camp on the beach for a few days. Once again, if you want to make God laugh, make plans. We got stuck in traffic on I-10. It took us 3 hours to drive 3 miles and as luck would have it, that stretch of 3 miles had absolutely no exits. The good news is that Big Lil ensured we were never too far from a restroom.
When we called the Florida State Park in Destin to let them know we would be a bit late, they informed us that they lock the gates at sundown and we really shouldn’t bother coming. Nice!
Not to worry, there’s always
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THE WALMART PARKING LOT!!!
We stopped in Crestview, Florida which is not far from Fort Walton Beach, Florida (where I happened to attend junior high). Since it was cold, we chose not to visit MJHS (Home of the Wildcats) and instead ate a below average pizza. I did discover this free source of dinner in the Walmart parking lot but sadly it was after we had already eaten.
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The next day rather than stopping again, we decided to just forge on to Kim’s dad’s house. We were tired and wanted a shower and as Kim so delicately put it, “our personal hygiene is suffering.”
We had a wonderful visit with Jerry and Cliff despite spending an entire day prepping for what was a fabulous Super Bowl party despite a totally sucky Super Bowl game. We tried to be cordial to everyone at the party but damn those Broncos made us so sad and a bit cranky. Luckily, I am a Cleveland fan so this type of bad disappointment and heartbreak was nothing new to me.
Jerry and Cliff are doing well and they send love and hugs to those of you they know as well as those they do not. That is just how they roll. We hung with them at their wonderful new house.
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We ate a few cuban sandwiches. We decided we needed haircuts so all four of us descended on the nearest Great Clips. I guess when you pay $7 for a haircut, you can’t complain but we all agreed they “snatched us bald.” We had a really great time with the boys! They spoil us every time we see them.
Stay tuned for the next installment of “Snowbirds on the Run!”

Southern Hospitality – Effie Style

I thought I understood what Southern Hospitality meant but the few days we spent with the Hayes/Lester crew helped me realize it involved so much more than I could have imagined.
I have to say, things didn’t start out all that promising. Ken had warned us to keep an eye out for “the heat” driving through the smaller towns in Louisiana but when I saw seven highway patrol cars within the first 20 minutes we were in the state, I decided these southern folks were not really all that gracious. Most of those who know me well will be shocked to hear that I did not have the opportunity to meet any of the highway patrol folks up close and personal. Truly a miracle.
Then there were the sweet and kind words of welcome upon our arrival. We had been dragging cold and wet weather with us each mile from Colorado. We skipped a few stops along the way just to try and stay ahead of it and as we pulled into Greg and Beth’s place the rain began to turn to snow. Kim’s weather check revealed snow and cold weather for the duration of our stay in Effie. Harkening back to my junior high basketball days, I decided that the best defense was a damn good offense, so I told Ken about an hour before we got there, that we really appreciated the nice weather they had arranged for our visit. Extremely large mistake on my part. When we pulled into the driveway, before I got my hug from Beth, she said “we are so glad you all are here to visit and we sincerely want to thank you for the lovely weather you brought with you.” At least Greg waited until after my hug was complete to tell me “some folks around here aren’t too happy with this cold you brought from Colorado and most of them have guns.” (ok, he didn’t really say that but he was thinking it). The final shot was delivered by Trackey (who we never did meet) but who reportedly said to Ken when informed of our weather woes, “find out where those gals are headed and then don’t go there.” Not really what I expected in the way of southern gentility but then, I did start it. As a side note, I have to give a shout out to Nell Hayes! She thankfully and truly graciously saw no need to assign blame to anyone. She simply said, “THIS is ridiculous.” And she was completely right!

Greg and Beth's Place

Greg and Beth’s Place


Ken tried to restore the honor of the region by offering to treat us to lunch. Now there’s a Southern gentleman. He said the restaurant wasn’t much to look at but the food was amazing!
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We had shrimp po-boys, oysters, catfish, and I can’t remember what else except it was fresh and delicious. Ken insisted on paying and even wagged his finger in our face a few times but I really wanted to pay because he NEVER lets us. I went up to the counter just as Ken was handing his credit card to Shep (the owner). I asked Shep if he would prefer cash? Bingo! He smiled and said “why yes mam, I surely would.” He took my cash and while Ken protested, he looked at Ken and said, “sorry, but cash rules.” Ha! So, I am proudly stating for the first and most likely only time, I got one over on Mr. Ken! Cash and Nancy rule!
Ken also took us to the Casino where Calvin liked to gamble; Ken said his dad had amazing good luck at the Casino. I thought it would be a fitting tribute to Calvin if went right on in there and won some money. I hope he appreciated the thought since I dropped $15 in that fine establishment. Kim,on the other hand, walked away with $60 courtesy of the video poker machine at the bar. Not fair and yes, I was fairly jealous. She doesn’t even LIKE to gamble but apparently she is good at it.
Despite her sadness, Nell was the epitome of southern kindness. She let us visit her place and Ken gave us the tour of where he grew up. We watched the “red birds” on her feeder.
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Ken took us out on the four-wheeler to feed the cows.
Kim and I fed them and got cow drool all over our hands but we managed to avoid feeding Big Mama who by all reports has the longest, slimiest tongue in Louisiana.
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We got to see Calvin’s cook house and up in the rafters was Ken’s grade school lunch box.
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Ken dug out some old baseball uniforms Calvin had saved from when he coached a team, many years ago so Ken and Kim decided to join Team Calvin.
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Ken took us to the barn and I was mortified when I looked up and saw what Kim said ….and I quote…were ”two of the cutest cats I ever saw.”
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The yellow tabby looked exactly like RJ and the little calico captured Kim’s heart. Of course, every dog and cat on the planet is acutely aware of how very easy that is to accomplish. Fortunately, for me, Nell has gotten attached to them and they were not free to move to Colorado at this time.
On a side note, Kim did give Nell, Ken and Beth some of her hand made potholders and they were very well received by all. Like Bonnie, Ken was a bit surprised that an ex-IBM executive would have become addicted to weaving on a kid’s loom. I believe his exact words where “who are you?”
In closing, let me try and give you some idea of what Southern Hospitality truly means in Effie, Louisiana. If you know Ken, it will come as no surprise that the people who raised him and grew up with him are wonderful and amazing.
Greg and Beth barely knew us yet they opened their home to us for three days during a difficult time. They shared the love of their two wonderful dogs. They cooked some of the best food we have ever had and I think are responsible for the two, new pounds I am sporting. They wouldn’t let us lift a finger. Speaking of which, I almost lost a few trying to load the dishwasher. They were having none of that! They allowed us to do wash after being on the road. Well actually, that isn’t quite true. Beth allowed us to bring her the wash and when we weren’t looking, she actually folded it! They showed us around town and Greg and Ken even completed a twenty-teen point check of the Airstream tires.

We scored some awesome trip treats including but not limited to:
-2 jars of homemade pickles
-3 jars of homemade jam including strawberry/fig
-1 box of gumbo mix
-2 jars of Avon hand cream
-1 genuine Beth Lester quiche recipe
-2 stories I have been sworn to never repeat
-1 authentic arrowhead discovered by Calvin Hayes
-$45 family profit courtesy of the closest Casino to Effie
As Kim said, “You have to love this Southern Hospitality. Every time you turn around, someone hands you a gift.”

Words cannot express how welcomed we were made to feel. We were and are so grateful for the wonderful people we met in Effie, especially the chance to get to know Beth, Greg and Nell better. Good People! We were extremely glad to see Ken so we could hug him and tell him how much we love him. It did take about ½ a day for us to pass on all the hugs that were sent to him from the folks back in Colorado but I think we pulled it off. I don’t think we will ever forget the kindness and good times we enjoyed. THANK YOU EFFIE!

Heading Southeast – January 2014

January 28, 2014 2:14 PM
Greetings and long overdue salutations from the winding road through the Southeast. I would like to thank most of you for graciously awaiting our return to the blog-o-sphere. The rest of you apparently forgot where you put your “patient panties.” You KNOW who you are so there is no need to call anyone out ….Claudia Burris. Harriet, Big Lil, Kim and I would like to extend not –so-warm greetings from the shores of Lake Ponchartrain in Fontainbleau State Park near Mandeville, Louisiana. We have been on the road for 10 days and the fact that this is my first free minute just confirms that we have had an awesome time visiting friends and family.
We are sitting in the trailer while freezing rain sticks to everything outside. Since the roads are expected to be icy and the temperatures around freezing for at least one day and maybe two, we are enjoying some quiet time snuggled in the trailer. So I thought I would catch everyone up, at least with where we have been so far.
We began our journey in Santa Fe with Bonnie, Jacki and Louie. Louie seems to have settled into his new home very well. His crate has been replaced by a luxurious, memory foam, dog bed. He is eating gourmet, homemade food prepared tirelessly by his two moms’ who monitor his input and output with maniacal attention. We learned that after much discussion, his new parents have decided to raise Louie in the Jewish faith. We sort of expected Bonnie to be a typical Jewish mother but Jacki dotes on him just as much, if not more. We met Jacki and Bonnie’s friends, Ben and Paula who came by the house to help us cheer our Broncos to victory. We really enjoyed their company. As usual, Jacki and Bonnie spoiled us during our short visit. We enjoyed home cooked meals, wine and lots of laughter. Since Bonnie’s birthday was approaching, Kim presented her with a set of hand-made, “Kim Hodges Creations” potholders. Kim has begun creating potholders on a little, square loom much like many of us played with when we were young. I know I am biased but I think they are really cool. Bonnie seemed to like hers however, after she perused Kim’s inventory of potholders, she laughed and said to Kim, “You really do need a job.”
On January 20th, we packed up and headed to Carlsbad Caverns, New Mexico. This is our second trip that featured the caverns on our itinerary and yet again, we did not stop. We realized about halfway there, that the nightly migration of bats out of the caves does not occur at this time of year. We also realized that at our current course and speed, we would not make Tampa in time for the Super Bowl. Normally, we wouldn’t really care, however Jerry informed us that they were having their Super Bowl Party again this year and many of his friends were expecting us to be there. So we recalibrated and decided to head on into Texas and begin getting ahead of schedule. This was the first of many schedule adjustments to come. Good thing Kim built some flexibility into the original itinerary.
After two long days on the road, we rolled into McKinney Falls State Park in Austin, Texas on January 21st. My wonderful brother, David and his partner, Broocke were kind enough to clear their schedules despite the short notice and we met them for dinner. Our friend, Richard, was correct. The traffic in Austin was horrible. My brother lives nine miles from the park and it took us 35 minutes to get to his house. The good news was that the State Park was really cool and on the east side of Austin which helped us avoid rush hour and made our departure relatively painless. We did not get to see much of Austin but we had a nice visit with my brother whom I hadn’t seen in quite some time. Love you, David.
We had planned to spend the next few days sightseeing in San Antonio but when my lovely navigator checked the weather, we decided to beat feet to Effie, Louisiana and the Hayes family. Snow was on the way! What is up with that? Apparently, the memo explaining we wanted some warm weather did not make it up to Mother Nature. We laughed at the plethora of shorts and T-shirts each time we went to our closets. We were truly just ahead of the weather until we got to Houston where we fought rain, high winds and the bridge “de-icing” trucks. Thankfully, we got to Effie just before the snow began in earnest.
I have to say I was grateful to drive into Louisiana from Texas. I am probably not being fair since we decided not to spend any appreciable time enjoying the nicer parts of Texas but it just felt like we drove on lots of bad roads enjoying no scenery whatsoever. No offense to some of our friends with ties to the 28th State but we kept saying, “What the hell are we doing in Texas!” Now, we weren’t silly enough to think we could head to the southeast without going through Texas but we managed to drive through the widest portion of the state, enjoying over 800 miles of the Lone Star “experience.” Perhaps on the way home, I can give them another chance.
I will go ahead and post this and then add another post about our amazing trip to Effie!!! Stay tuned! Hugs to all.

Don’t Do the Crime if you Can’t Do the Time! October 7, 2013

We spent the rainy morning sitting in our truck in Yachats (ya-hots), Oregon trying to take advantage of some connectivity. There is none at our campsite, limited out on the beach but only during low tide and three bars in Yachats “Gem of the Oregon Coast.” We couldn’t enjoy the rest of our day until we got some administrative chores done first. So we conscientiously confirmed the mortgage was paid along with the utilities as well as the taxes on Prescott and checked for any urgent mail. Just as we finished completing all our immediate obligations (we are such rule followers), the sun magically appeared.
We decided a nice picnic at one of the plethora of seaside parks would be our reward.
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Then we strolled along the walkway at Seal Rock State Park.
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We were in great spirits and had no way of knowing at the time, that within an hour, we would knowingly, willfully and with malice break the law. Now it may not surprise you to know that Kim has some experience in this area but other than the occasional visit with a police person for driving well in excess of the speed limit, my familiarity with blatantly disregarding the rules of society is somewhat limited.
Our plan was to take advantage of our unexpected sunny day by going to visit the Yaquina Head Outstanding Natural Area and Lighthouse.
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I think it is very cool that they tell you right in the name of the place that it is “Outstanding”. The “Area” is out a mile long spit of land that juts into the ocean and features Oregon’s tallest lighthouse. (I do plan to continue to post lighthouse pictures primarily because I love them but also because my good buddy, Kellye (proprietor of Lighthouse Lutherie) loves them as well.
We drove to the parking area and were greeted with this signage:
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Well, I am sure you can tell where this is going. We thought this was a State Park but apparently it too is federally funded. Let me just say, I think Kim and I have been pretty good sports about having our National Park adventure screwed with by the federal government. We have gone to Plans B, C and D and other than the occasional expletive deleted, we haven’t said much about it. But when we saw this sign, something just snapped and we knew immediately that we had every intention of grabbing our binoculars and cameras and waltzing right past the closed sign, climbing over the barricade with yet another “Do Not Enter” placard and going to see the Freakin Outstanding Area and Lighthouse.
I should mention that there were many other cars and people around who appear to have been breaking the law as well which did embolden us a bit. It is interesting to note that in an uncharacteristic act of defiance, I mocked the “Do Not Enter” sign and had Kim take a picture of me doing so. I am not posting the picture here to protect each and every one of you. That way, if you are asked in a court of law, if you have any knowledge of this incident, you can honestly say you never “saw” anything. Actually, that isn’t true. For some reason, that picture, for whatever reason magically disappeared when I downloaded my other photos. It is probably for the best.
We encountered three older women climbing over the barriers, leaving the park as we entered. They laughed and said “I guess we are all breaking the rules today.” One woman wanted to be sure we knew that the restrooms were locked up tight so we could plan accordingly. We walked past the Interpretive Center
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where we noted cars in the lot. hat prompted us to wonder if parading down the street right in front of the building was our smartest move. But then I thought, if the folks in there are federal employees, they aren’t getting paid so most likely they aren’t overly insented to chastise or otherwise report us.
We finally caught sight of the lighthouse and I took a picture, not only of the cool structure, but one that included all the other people who decided to break the law as well.
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Not that it will help should I have to explain myself to the authorities. As my dad used to say, “If 500 people jumped off the Empire State Building, would you do it?” Which by the way, really is kind of a ridiculous parental teaching tool if you think about it.
I got a few photos of the lighthouse:
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Kim spotted some Harbor Seals down in the surf but I didn’t get a great picture of them. So please look very closely at the miniscule black dots in the surf and use your imagination.
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As we walked back to the parking lot, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Even though “The Man” tried to keep us out, our bravery and courage were rewarded and we got to see the entire area. As I pondered again, the breaking of the rules, I suddenly realized that I might not be as smart as I thought I was. Throughout our unauthorized visit, I had reassured myself with the thought: “What is the worst that could happen?” The local sheriff from Newport would come and yell at us for trespassing. And if he was really a stickler for the rules, he might give us a ticket but it probably wouldn’t be for much money. Or if he is a real hard ass, he might actually put us in jail. I have never been to jail but a small town jail would be the way to go. Besides that, I already have a “prison name” thanks to some of my rather strange friends, so totally no problem for “Teeny.”
Finally, some additional and crucial information made its way into the forefront of my brain and thought process. This data really should have been fully considered when we began our little, bad-girl, rebel after 50, journey across the barrier. I am standing on FEDERAL land and therefore, I have to believe that TRESPASSING on Federal Land is probably and most assuredly a FELONY rather than a MISDEMEANOR. Can we all say “DUH” at the same time? Not quite so full of ourselves anymore, are we?
Kim did suggest we walk another 45 minutes or so down to the tide pool area before leaving but now I am a bit freaked out and so I recommend we not push our luck. So we hike another 15 minutes back up to the parking lot. On the way, I have decided that if they aren’t paying the Park Rangers to keep the parks open, they probably aren’t paying them or anyone else to patrol the area for trespassers, so we are probably safe. The sad flip side of this last revelation is that it just proves we are not nearly as “outlaw” as I wanted us to be on this particular adventure. Who knew this first foray into the outlaw life would be so damn difficult? But fear not, we might try again on the way home. I wonder if anyone is watching the gates at Yosemite?