Greetings from the “Little House on the Prairie.” I would take a minute to ponder which of us is Ma and which is Pa but I am afraid just thinking about all that would take me to a frightening place and really, what good could come of it?
It has been awhile since we departed the lovely home and fabulous hospitality of Bonnie, Jacki and Louie, who is truly and without argument, the most spoiled dog in the universe. I know that is hard to believe when Ali, Merlin and Kevin are in the mix but I believe it is true. We had a great time in Santa Fe.
I do just want to take a moment and thank Jacki and Bonnie (especially Bonnie) for taking us (especially Kim) to a place called “Back at the Ranch.” Back at the Ranch is a “custom boot” store so you KNOW my thanks is less than sincere. Actually I would call it more of a custom boot “salon” than a store. I knew it was trouble from the moment we walked in. Two of the four extremely attractive and well dressed sales persons greeted us immediately upon our entrance and within a minute asked if they could get us any water or tea! Now you KNOW when they ask to bring you refreshments to make your shopping experience more enjoyable, you are talking big bucks. I shot Bonnie my best “let’s get the hell out of here look” but all she did was smile and browse. There were beautiful and unique boots of every shape, size and color on every wall, floor to ceiling, beckoning us further in. The older predator, I mean, sales associate asked who the shopper was in the group and Bonnie and I replied in unison, “Kim.” Then they began to seduce Kim with their evil ways. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like some water?” “Where are you from?” “Boulder, oh I love Boulder.” This was not good. While they were hovering around Kim, I managed to quickly and surreptitiously look at the bottom of a pair of boots. OK, it wasn’t that quickly because when I saw the price, my head starting spinning and my eyes were having a hard time focusing on the numbers. “Well, shame on you, Nancy for being so judgmental, $320 isn’t bad at all.” “Hell, she was looking at a $500 pair yesterday.” “Wait a minute, something is not right.” Let me look again…. please remember that I was trying to be polite and very sneaky. Ah, there it was…..that other little zero that my brain had ignored in an effort to make the information something I could actually comprehend. Ah, there it is…..if you wait long enough, my brain will catch up….now I understand, I was actually holding in my hand, me, personally, a pair of $3,200 boots. I looked up to see Bonnie laughing at the look on my face…..I have to say, I have never really seen this vicious side of her before. I turned around just in time to hear the saleswoman say to Kim, “Would you like to try those on?” Kim said yes before I could do or say anything. This was so bad. I was lightheaded so I sat down and reminded myself that Kim was a big girl who typically makes really good decisions and besides this didn’t have anything to do with me. I have to say, they were some cool ass boots and of course, they fit perfectly. And they were only, $1,000!!! A bargain compared to everything else in the place! After 20 minutes of charming chit-chat and first-class sales womanship (damn these women were good), I was ready to buy them for Kim myself. However, Kim was not seduced by the truly gorgeous and unique boots that fit like no others or the truly impressive sales efforts of her new best friends. We thanked them for their time and wished them a lovely day. I have to say I was amazed we left with NO boots. I will say that I saw the young sales woman slip Kim her card on the way out as she told her that shipping was free…..sort of like someone slipping her their number in a bar ….”Call Me.” So obviously, the story may or may not be over. I was very proud of Kim for not buying the boots but I was most proud of me for not buying a pair for myself and then using those crazy, expensive, fabulous boots to kick Bonnie’s backside all the way home.
We arrived at the house on Saturday and were thrilled to find it in great shape. Pat had done an amazing job cleaning, organizing and even was thoughtful enough to hire a window cleaner so we could enjoy crystal clear views of the prairie and mummy as soon as we got here. As the street name says, when you look to the mountains from the house, they look like a mummy lying down. I am the only person I know who spent more than a month here before realizing where our street got its name. Most people seem to see it within the first 5 minutes. I think since I was the last to see it, I should name it. I will have to ponder an appropriate moniker.
We loved exploring the house and all the things we had left here. It was kind of like Christmas discovering some of the sweatshirts, shirts and shoes we had left. Speaking of footwear, I was especially excited to rediscover my slippers. I have a pair of trailer slippers and some amazing hand made slippers given to me by Claudia Burris. But these are my high-end, prairie foot warmers I bought at our friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart about two years ago for $8.99.

As you can see, they are beyond stylish but I don’t care because they are functional! Kim hates them beyond words. She mentioned at least three times that they were ugly. I believe she thought I would get rid of them after the last comment but when I didn’t, she finally said “I will buy you a real pair of Uggs if you will just get rid of those hideous slippers.” Bingo, sometimes I am not nearly as dumb as I look.
We spent a few days getting things put away. There is truly no extra space so we had to clean out things we no longer needed. Within a few days, we were settled and enjoying the quiet prairie. Pat put an antenna up so we get about 6 channels…..my favorite is ME TV…..it has all the old TV shows….Andy Griffith, Gun Smoke, Bonanza and even MASH but my favorites are the original Superman, Batman, The Rifleman, Night Gallery, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and Mission Impossible. They are so much fun to watch. I think Perry Mason is on as well but I haven’t figured out when yet. Classics!!! They really take me back and make me smile. We have been reading quite a bit and watching some movies on the DVD player (courtesy of Patricia…..yes, she totally rocks). We highly recommend “PRIDE” about the miner’s strike in England in the 1980s and a group of Gay and Lesbians who try to help them. It was a wonderful movie and very touching and heartwarming. Kim and Nancy give it 4 Airstreams! After Pride, I selected three clunkers in a row and had to put myself on movie probation.
I also really like the radio stations here because they play old (oops, make that retro) country and western music as well as retro rock and roll. The other day on the way to work out I heard some classics like Barbara Mandrel (You Can Eat Crackers in My Bed Anytime), The Partridge Family (I Think I Love You) and Edison Lighthouse’s One Hit Wonder (Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes)!!! OK, in the spirit of honesty, that last one was on my own playlist. I am sure that surprises no one.
Kim is still fighting a nasty sinus infection. I think we are on Day 8 but the good news is she is a reading fool. I think she has read somewhere between 6-8 books in the last 8 days. Oh and as long as we are recommending movies, we both recommend a book called “The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry.” Again, 4 Airstreams!
The pronghorn finally showed up yesterday right outside our door. Something spooked them and they took off running. They were so beautiful to watch. It was not wonderful when Tuffy decided to go run with them. I am sure it was quite a sight…the pronghorn and Tuffy gracefully flowing across the prairie with a 58 year old, gimpy lesbian dressed in sweats and crocs flailing along far behind.
Well, I must sign off for now. Gotta to head out front and enjoy the sunset.
























































































